Friday, November 30, 2012

It's Not a Sin, It's Who I Am

Sorry I haven't written in a while, but I had a mini writers' block crisis. What more can be said about the life of a gay ex-Mormon? Anyone…Anyone…(yes, that is a reference to the angst-ridden Ferris Bueller’s Day Off)


I was thinking about this the other day and I thought: does my exhalted humble opinion even matter when there are so many people blogging about the exact same thing? What do I have to offer that someone else hasn’t said already - or worse, said better…

That lasted about ten seconds when I realized that if I’m saying the same thing as someone else, then why is my idea somehow less relevant? The beauty of blogging is that so many people are sharing their stories, and yes some are similar, but the more the merrier.

That said y’all are stuck with me at least for a little while longer. (I can hear the enthusiasm from my monitor)
So right now what I want to talk about is the stunning lack of any scriptural doctrine condemning homosexuality in the Mormon Faith. Scripture for Mormons includes: The Bible, The Book of Mormon, Doctrine & Covenants, and the Pearl of Great Price.

Now the Bible mentions homosexuality, but there is argument over how to interpret this. As I grew up I expected that if I were to read through these other scriptures I would find similar condemnations of homosexuality. This however is not the case.

For those of you who don’t know how Mormonism works you may wonder then why the Mormons seem to be, more than most religions, so unified against gay people. The reason is that the word of the prophet is the word of God. And many of the prophets have spoken on this issue and condemned it as a sin. So even though the scriptures ignore the issue the members of the church are still bound by what the leaders say.

Of all the beliefs in the Church, this is one of those that I have the most hesitancy with. When one man gets to decide the rules for an entire congregation the line gets hazy. He is a spiritual leader, but he is also simply a man. There is no way around it and sometimes I wonder how much of the rules they create are for personal reasons.

The Church has a saying: “Be in the world, but not of the world.”

This maxim, as if this were even possible, encourages members to physically inhabit the earth, but to somehow avoid being truly involved in its goings on. I think this gets in the way of other positive teachings of the Church like charity…or humanity.
Furthermore how can a man, split between these two worlds, make decisions on morality for the people he wants to remain separate from? I love the Mormons that I’ve had the chance to get to know, but as a collective unit…it’s like they’re running a gentleman’s club and Joseph Smith himself might not even get in anymore.

Simply put, they seem to be making they’re own rules. As I said there’s no mention of homosexuality in Mormon doctrine and the foundation for homosexuality as a sin in the Bible is shaky at best, yet that is their stance. But then it’s not like we do follow all the Levitical Laws, which are explicitly stated. (Not that I’m complaining…I like shaving, thank you very much). So why is this an issue for the Church?

When I said I wonder if I would run back to the Church if they opened the doors for its gay members, I still don’t have an answer. But it seems at this rate it’s a reality I won’t face, which is sad. I remember singing all the primary hymns as a kid and meeting some truly great people. But I’ve had to go into self-imposed exile in order to escape the atmosphere of judgment the church has created around this particular issue.

They mean well and only want to get people on the track to salvation, but they may not realize that this isn’t like murder, or even simply not paying tithing, this is part of an identity. You cannot separate one from the other, try as they might.

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