That Moment in a Bookstore

Ever have that moment where you're in a bookstore and as you peruse the aisles you see something that catches your eye…as you reach for it, out of nowhere, someone else reaches for the same book?

It is a moment of connection- of clarity- you both were drawn to the same conclusion or inspired by the same thought and for a moment there some recognition passes between you.

This is not that…

This is more of a one way experience on my end as I read up on some other blogs I follow. As a gay ex-Mormon I find that I occupy a narrow sliver of society so when I find people that have gone through the same experience it gives me a sense of solidarity.

So I'm giving a huge shoutout to Jonathan Adamson who writes the blog "In These Gay Mormon Shoes"

Now our styles are very different, but I agree with most of his arguments and hope he would to some of the arguments I've made in some of these posts. His experience as a BYU student makes him much more credible than I, rejecting my acceptance to BYU and going off to a secular university in a major liberal city. Dedicating the entire blog to the specific issue of growing up Mormon while coming to terms with being gay, he provides both personal and critical commentary on the state of both communities and the evolving dialectic between them.

For instance one post puts forth a simple question to talk about bias and how society perpetuates injustice. He takes the edge off by including himself as well as directly addressing the reader…but the question remains:

"Pretend we lived in a world where gays were treated equally. People's sexual orientation was of no interest to anyone and no one expected another person to be one way or the other and wasn't surprised or shocked one way or the other. Everyone had equal rights and equal representation. It was not a social taboo. Someone telling another person that they were gay was equivalent to telling him/her that their favorite color was green. In other words, there is no added stress or pain or discomfort to a person's life if he/she were gay.
    1.    Would you want your child to be straight or gay? Why/ Why not?"

As he says, the only right answer is: it doesn't matter…but how often is that answer given these days.

But again the effectiveness of the post, at least for me, is the desire to intrigue rather than to attack. Although he has his fair share of argumentative posts, he remains analytical (to the extent that anyone can on an issue that hits so close to home). He decisively organizes his posts so readers know when to expect opinion, and when to expect argument.

Always topical, his posts still manage to cover a variety o topics from the intricacies of dating in the gay community to talks given by General Authorities (Church leaders for those of you unfamiliar with Mormonism).   He also recognizes a journey, the one he went on, the one the gay community is going, where Mormonism is headed, and where his audience may be on their journey. His attention to the readership makes his blog more dynamic as he reads and responds to the comments he receives, changing the rhetoric where he sees fit or perhaps even more boldly defending his position when he disagrees. Point is the readers are listened to.

Since I am writing on similar topics I found his experiences to be really helpful as I continue in my own development, I do differ in the subject matter. I spoke on a lot of topics before getting to the heart of my blog and I kind of like that, but expect me to refer to him from time to time because of all the blogs I've seen on this topic he has the clearest objective, which happens to be the same as mine: equality for the gay community.

As he says in one post: "I will always have my past. Mormonism will always be a part of me. I was raised in the church. Of course it will continue to influence how I think and how I approach ideas of deity and spirituality. I will still carry the fond memories in the church with me as well as the bad ones. But I will no longer be a Mormon. I suppose I will be an ex-Mormon... although ex sounds so harsh. I will be previously Mormon. ;)"

Go read his blog I guarantee you one of two things: you will change your perspective on these issues, or you will at least begin to understand them a little better.