Sorry I haven't written in a while, but I had a mini writers' block crisis. What more can be said about the life of a gay ex-Mormon?
Anyone…Anyone…(yes, that is a reference to the angst-ridden Ferris Bueller’s
Day Off)
I was thinking about this the other day and I thought: does
my exhalted humble opinion even matter when there are so many people
blogging about the exact same thing? What do I have to offer that someone else
hasn’t said already - or worse, said better…
That lasted about ten seconds when I realized that if I’m
saying the same thing as someone else, then why is my idea somehow less
relevant? The beauty of blogging is that so many people are sharing
their stories, and yes some are similar, but the more the merrier.
That said y’all are stuck with me at least for a little
while longer. (I can hear the enthusiasm from my monitor)
So right now what I want to talk about is the stunning lack
of any scriptural doctrine condemning homosexuality in the Mormon Faith. Scripture
for Mormons includes: The Bible, The Book of Mormon, Doctrine & Covenants,
and the Pearl of Great Price.
Now the Bible mentions
homosexuality, but there is argument over how to interpret this. As I grew up I
expected that if I were to read through these other scriptures I would find
similar condemnations of homosexuality. This however is not the case.
For those of you who don’t know how Mormonism works you may
wonder then why the Mormons seem to be, more than most religions, so unified
against gay people. The reason is that the word of the prophet is the word of
God. And many of the prophets have spoken on this issue and condemned it as a
sin. So even though the scriptures ignore the issue the members of the church
are still bound by what the leaders say.
Of all the beliefs in the Church, this is one of those that
I have the most hesitancy with. When one man gets to decide the rules for an
entire congregation the line gets hazy. He is a spiritual leader, but he is
also simply a man. There is no way around it and sometimes I wonder how much of
the rules they create are for personal reasons.
The Church has a saying: “Be in the world, but not of the
world.”
This maxim, as if this were even possible, encourages
members to physically inhabit the earth, but to somehow avoid being truly
involved in its goings on. I think this gets in the way of other positive
teachings of the Church like charity…or humanity.
Furthermore how can a man, split between these two worlds,
make decisions on morality for the people he wants to remain separate from? I
love the Mormons that I’ve had the chance to get to know, but as a collective
unit…it’s like they’re running a gentleman’s club and Joseph Smith himself
might not even get in anymore.
Simply put, they seem to be making they’re own rules. As I
said there’s no mention of homosexuality in Mormon doctrine and the foundation
for homosexuality as a sin in the Bible is shaky at best, yet that is their
stance. But then it’s not like we do follow all the Levitical Laws, which are
explicitly stated. (Not that I’m complaining…I like shaving, thank you very
much). So why is this an issue for the Church?
When I said I wonder if I would run back to the Church if
they opened the doors for its gay members, I still don’t have an answer. But it
seems at this rate it’s a reality I won’t face, which is sad. I remember
singing all the primary hymns as a kid and meeting some truly great people. But
I’ve had to go into self-imposed exile in order to escape the atmosphere of
judgment the church has created around this particular issue.
They mean well and only want to get people on the track to
salvation, but they may not realize that this isn’t like murder, or even simply
not paying tithing, this is part of an identity. You cannot separate one from
the other, try as they might.
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